


The Silent Scream

by KillerKells202



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, Bullying, Cat Ears, Daydreaming, Discrimination, F/F, Forced Maturity, Friends to Lovers, Gothic, Goths, Hair Brushing, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kissing, Mentioned Rejection, Mild Language, Musical Instrument - Freeform, Nicknames, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Racism, Runaway, Self-Harm, Song Lyrics, Verbal Abuse, faunus, gun - Freeform, knife, suicide attempt (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 23:43:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16208144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerKells202/pseuds/KillerKells202
Summary: High School AU. Blake, Yang, Weiss and Ilia all dress in dark clothing, wear dark eyeliner and have issues showing their emotions. Blake and Ilia are forced to hide their Faunus features and only their friends know. They are all outcasts by family and peers in their own way. Ilia's family actually attempts to understand her and as long as she is happy, her family is too. But she's the only one. They all have their struggles in their own way. Weiss and Ilia make an appearance at the end.





	The Silent Scream

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Silent Scream](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16128986) by [KillerKells202](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerKells202/pseuds/KillerKells202). 



> This work is from another work of mine called Silent Scream. Someone told me I should make one that's darker based on the bullying parts with more dialog in the story. So I decided hey, I'm going to make the whole thing dark, so here it is, after a week of looking through it with my edits and it's probably not perfect. This work like the other one, is based on the video and music "The Silent Scream" By Anna Blue and Damien Dawn. It's really cool if you want to check those out.

The room was filling with sunrise. A blue wall turning the color of baby blue. Across the from the bed was the door with a silver handle. On the left, a purple book shelf littered with books. To the right was a nightstand. Above the nightstand, was a Kanji Japanese character painted in fuchsia. It was purposely tilted to draw more attention as it read love. 

On top of the dark purple vanity, was a small purple picture frame of four girls. The two in the back had their faces cut because they were too short. The tallest, was a natural blonde woman with red eyes, strawberry red as normal but turned scarlet red when she was angry or in pain, which happened often. The first thing people notice about her, is her large bust. She dyed her long, unruly mane from golden blonde to jet black to express herself with red streaks. In the picture, she wore a dark black sleeveless shirt, black and white striped fingerless gloves that covered her palms and past her wrist and it was the same colors as her scarf. Her long fingers held a peace sign in front of her. She wore her light purple headband with an off-center skull leaning to the left. Her name is Yang Xiao Long. The human that didn't like humans, Weiss, their friend Yang knew first being an exception. 

Beside her, was a female with long black hair, and her cat ears hidden in a black bow. She wore a short sleeve dark purple t-shirt with a light purple scarf. Her favorite colors being black and purple. Being a Faunus, Blake Belladonna would be discriminated against, bullied and treated as sub-human. Luckily, when she was just with her friends, she didn't have to hide who she was. Yang always smiled when she freed them, watching them twitch and facially expressed how she hated that Blake hid part of her. Yang knew she verbally sounded like a broken record and stopped. Yang cheered her up saying she wishes she was a Faunus, ability to see in the dark, excellent hearing, not so much the sense of smell, sharp claws and unless you looked closely enough, you couldn't tell some Faunus had fangs instead of teeth. Blake did indulge one of her Faunus trails, her love for tuna which exposed her to cat jokes from Ilia and puns from Yang.

In front of her showing half her face due to her shortness was Ilia Amitola. She had long brown hair, but dyed it a darker brown. It was so dark it appeared black unless you took a closer look. She too was a Faunus, a chameleon. Normally, her skin was dark tanned and her eyes a gray color. The thing that made her a Faunus, was her skin and eyes could change color based on her emotions. By no circumstance, was she allowed to change color for fear of everyone knowing and no longer being safe. Not that it mattered much as she was bullied because of the way she dressed, like Yang, Blake and Weiss. Her friends supported her too, but none like her girlfriend, Weiss Schnee. 

The last female in the picture in front of Yang with half her face cut due to being short, Weiss Schnee. She had natural icy blue colored eyes and long white as snow hair. Her grandfather made his legacy uncovering a gold mine. Her father is abusive and took over the company despite being married to it. She hated how her father treated everyone, especially Faunus as sub-human or slaves. She is to take over the company, but rebels against her father at every turn. She started by standing up for her average friends, well, as average as you get with a 'goth' group, then stood up for herself and it escalated. She dyed her hair a magenta pink, painted her nails black, and wore dark purple. She hated her family except her three close friends and her sister Winter. They are her family. And in a sense, they were all each other's family. The four friends were had just finished watching a movie with the theater lights behind them. 

Next to the picture, were several tea candles used for relaxation and meditation. Behind it was a purple shoe box filled with mementos that Blake Belladonna wanted to keep to remember for hard times in life. Past the box, was a small portrait of the four friends. Ilia held Weiss from behind right under her arms and had her hand beside her face. Ilia smiled with her mouth closed and Weiss grinned. That was the night Ilia asked Weiss to be her girlfriend. Grey and blue eyes captured by the camera in their rare moment of happiness. Beside them, Yang had one arm wrapped around Blake's side, holding her close as her other hand came down for an excited fist. She had one eye closed as she grinned. Blake wore her black beanie to the fair grounds with cat ears to let her ears have breathing room after a rough day at school. They decided to sneak out and go that Friday night as three thirds of their families said disagreed.

Behind it sticking our mostly, Yang had gone on a forced camping trip with father and her younger sister Ruby who was born when Yang's father married after her birthmother left. Ruby's mother died, leaving a broken family. The forest tress were black as a silhouette against the navy blue sky with several stars. She gave it to Blake and drew a constellation on it of the stars connecting and signed at the bottom of it. Her signature was not the best, but it meant a lot to Blake.

By the postcard, was a small puppet. A puppet that looked similar to Blake. Kristy Yamaguchi, a famous Japanese figure skater, had her skates crossed, a teal spaghetti strap teddy that faded into a white tutu that stuck out as she was supposed to turn, complete with a tiara at the top of her head. It was a reminder of what Blake's parents wanted her to be, 'normal'. Expectations, everything her parents wanted her to be. Being a Faunus, it was difficult for her mom to live the life she wanted. "A different time, a different place. You have so many opportunities Blake, don't let them go to waste." So now Blake's forced to live and be everything her mom in particular wanted of her. Blake didn't want any of it. She just wanted to be her. But of course, she was never good enough. Does that mean her parents don't love her? No it means she wants the best for Blake, they both do. She knew they loved her, they just wanted her best interest. They just had their parental ways of showing it, which didn't work. 

On the wall closest to the bed, hung several pictures and posters of anime chibi characters. On the windowsill, a small brown teddy bear sat upright against a book with three different colored books in front of it. Blake's Man with Two Souls series. To the right of the window was a purple nightstand with a desk lamp for late night reading when she couldn't sleep. Above the lamp was a poster of her favorite singer, Anna Blue. 

Blake's eyes shot open from her peaceful dreaming. She could hear her parents arguing outside her door. It was about her... again... 

“Kali, this is unacceptable!” Her father yelled pointing to the shorter woman as if it was her fault. Blake got a C on her math homework. Ghira Belladonna was a panther Faunus. He was absolutely tall, and pure muscle. He didn't look like a Faunus, only having sharp claws when he extended them and fangs, only if one knew to look. “Does she even care!? College doesn't pay for itself!” Her father was a business man who negotiated with people on fair and equal terms. He used to be the chieftain in Kuo Kuana, Menagerie but they moved to Vale which was supposedly more accepting of Faunus than other places. Faunus who wanted to be left alone, went to Menagerie. He wanted the best for her so they moved to Vale as The White Fang was causing problems. He knew she had potential, if only she tried. Ghira wasn't sure if it was her lack of interest, laziness, or she just didn't care. Whatever it was, it was unacceptable. “She's barely passing her classes! She's smart, she just doesn't have any interest in her future!” 

Kali, Blake's mom pointed at the closed door that was Blake's room as if to deflect the blame and put it on Blake. “I believe you! But she's our daughter!” Blake took mostly after her, except shorter and curvier. Blake got her feline ears from her, of course it'd be her luck. 

That was when the bangs came from the door. Blake sat up from her bed looking sadly at the door with a small pout. Every morning started like this. An argument over something then silence, deafening silence. The tension could be cut with a knife. When it was time, as their argument outside her room, they would bang on her door. 

“Does she!? She doesn't even smile! She doesn't care! She's barely passing! Just enough with C's! And she covers her ears like it's shameful to be a Faunus!”

“She should be proud of her heritage, who cares what other people say and what they think! We sure didn't. Don't even get me started on the way she dresses!” It was always how Blake dressed. Her parents didn't approve, but she was able to convince them to buy her clothes and matched with without them knowing how she was going to dress. “All dark clothes, moody, and her lip ring! I outta rip that out!”

“Don't forget her no good friends!” Her father disapproved of her friends thinking they were the cause of her being different and a bad influence.

During their argument, Blake placed her hands over her feline and humans ears as it became too much. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes. She understands her parents want the best for her, but eventually it becomes too much, threatening to suffocate her. And because of that suffocation, she wore a white bandage over her right arm. When they saw it one day and asked, she told them it was for show. Like her clothes in their opinion, just for show. Just for attention.

Gathering her strength, she opened the door glaring at both her parents in her pink and white stripped tank top and jeans. She walked past both of them as if nothing happened, gathered her clothes and walked into the bathroom to change. Her father had his hands on his hips. Her mother had her arms crossed. She could feel both their disapproving gazes, but stood firm. 

“Blake Belladonna, the girl who doesn't care about her life or her future!” Her father stated.

“And would it kill you to wear a big bright smile? Some interest wouldn't hurt you!” She mother stated.

She wanted to roll her eyes, but did so mentally. She wished they at least tried to understand her. To ask her about it instead of her waking up to them arguing about her like she wasn't around. 

When the bathroom door shut behind her and her back to it, she let the silent tears fall and continued to listen to her parents arguing. 

“Ghira, she's not a daddy's girl, or your little, pinky, perfect, princess! She's not the type of child!”

A child. That's all she was to them. Not a teenager who can make her own choices and decisions, but a child. One that needs to hold mommy and daddy's hand throughout life. That was the last thing she needed or wanted. She wanted them to understand, not control her. She had to calm her breath as it brought memories. Breathing exercises like Yang told her. Her parents interrupting her life. The life she wants, the life she chose. She wished they would accept it, instead of fighting.

“I wish she was! She always fails to impress! I wish she was normal! More like the rest us! But no! She has to be an outcast! She has to be different! Did you see the way she looked at us!? She doesn't even care! I wasn't a genius but at least I tried! I didn't like reading to become smarter until later in life!” 

There was that word again, 'normal'. What is 'normal'? Fitting into a cookie cutter design like society wants people and Faunus to? Impressing your parents with unrealistic expectations? Being exactly what they want you to be because they couldn't?

“Dresses, boys, dressing in pink every so often, cares about her grades and school, friends that are like that, and smiles. Happy cheery kid! Not the emotionless goth child she is! But you are absolutely right! This ends today! No daughter of mine is going to go down this path and I'll be damned if I don't stop it!”

Well, at least he didn't know about Adam. Is that really what her dad thought? She was an emotionless goth girl? She'd cry once in a while in private, of course. There was no way she'd be caught by them crying, asking her what was wrong just to lecture her more. Just because they didn't see it, doesn't mean it didn't happen. Yes she dressed in black because she liked the color and some purple, but way to stereotype. And talking about her friends like that pissed her off.

With the strength she had, she ignored them and with renewed determination, dressed. Blake put on her black skinny jeans with her purple leather belt that crossed her waist one way and another the crossed over the other, making a thin x. The one that was on her left, had a purple stripe above it, making it look like fabric was coming from under the shirt instead of the belt. She wore a plain black tank-top, black and white stripped glove on her right arm that went past her elbow covered by the leather jacket that was rolled above her elbow. On her left arm, she wore a purple cuff around her wrist. Next, she put on eyeliner that curved an inch above and below her eyes and winged it to the side. She put on black mascara to match. A black ring was placed on her left middle finger.

She was brushing her teeth when a voice called her down. 

“Blake breakfast!” Kali's promising words of a scolding if she didn't make it out the door before being caught. Although, it sounded like they were going to do something about it this time instead of yelling. Why couldn't they just let her be? She still had to get ready, but she couldn't at this rate. 

She brought out Gambol Shroud, her personal knife, taking off her stripped sleeve and pressed it to the vein in her wrist that promised to end her suffering. She felt the pressure, but couldn't do it. No more tears left her eyes as her father described her, "emotionless". Her thoughts went to school, then to Yang. What Yang would do if she knew. She'd be pissed, yelling at her, then hugging her, then Blake would see something she couldn't bare to see in Yang's eyes, hurt. Yang's been hurt enough without Blake burdening her or making it worse. She couldn't make it worse. Yang didn't deserve that, didn't deserve more hurt that she had already inflicted on her.

Blake hid the blade away and continued to get ready. She finished with thin black chain small black around her neck. She looked herself over in the mirror before going downstairs with her purple side strapped bag in hand. Her father was reading the paper at the table with his cup of coffee empty. Her mom was too engrossed into her scroll to pay attention to anything around her.

Her foot falls were silent coming down the stairs. She could feel it inside her. The quiet before the storm. It was a storm, her personal storm that gave her strength to do this every morning. However, it also wanted to argue and fight with her parents. She wouldn't care what the outcome was, she knew it was a losing battle and Blake was non-confrontational. She just wanted to move past this. Past the arguments, past fact her parents wanted her to be 'normal'. Thinking of her friends gave her strength to continue her silent suffering. Today the storm would rise, but that's all it would do.

Blake's steps were silent. When she didn't want to be heard, she wasn't. She could hear their argument pick up again. 

"What is taking that girl so long!?" Her father scolded.

That's an improvement. She went from 'child' to 'that girl'. Blake was struggling and having an internal battle with herself debating if her parents loved her. She wanted to believe they did, but everyday it made her question it more and more.

"I figured it out Ghira!" Her mother's voice spoke with realization. "She's stupid. She doesn't care. She doesn't try, but she's not dumb. She's smart, just stupid."

Blake hid away near the top of the stairs as she continued to listen. She tried not to let it hurt.

"That's where you're wrong Kali. She is dumb. She is barely passing her classes because she doesn't try. As of today, I am burning all her clothes and buying her new ones. We are going to change her. I've had enough of her insubordination. As long as she lives under my roof, she will obey my rules."

Maybe she should've listened to more of their conversation and just ran out the door. Are they wrong? That was the worse part. Blake was smart, she calculated her grades precisely to scrape off with a C. D grade here, a B here and C's in between. She didn't try because she hated school.She wishes she could be 'normal' but no one but her friends treated her as such. She was always the outcast. Hiding in the shadows. She was miserable. Without her friends, it would be unbearable. If it made her stupid and dumb... Her parents...aren't wrong. Her teachers aren't wrong. 

"She's both of those, and you know what else it is?" Ghira continued. "She's worthless."

"Ghira!"

Well, worthless is new. 

"Hear me out, Kali. She doesn't try, she doesn't care, she expects things to be easy and she's not contributing to this house and she's not going to contribute to society. She's going to see how cruel this world is and end up homeless."

What a way to find out how your own parents feel. The worse part, her mother didn't argue. She was worthless. She's just a worm to them. Their own daughter is not only a failure in their eyes, stupid and dumb, but worthless. 

Tears threaten to fall from her eyes as she stood frozen on the stairway. 

She'll just be homeless to them. Not their problem, why should they care? Clearly they don't think she does, so why bother? She thought of just killing herself. Stab herself with Gambol Shroud and end her life like she thought of so many times. Almost an everyday thought.

"She'll never amount to anything Kali. We give this girl everything she could want. She has a roof over her head, clothes on her back, even though it's all black, she has food, water and all the essentials. The least she could do it try to show some appreciation for everything she has. She won't ever try and she'll continue to be mediocre."

Blake placed her cat eared beaned over her ears and on her head unable to listen anymore. Her father may as well just told her she's stupid, dumb and won't go anywhere in life. She knew she was messed up because she wasn't their perception of normal, but now she knew how he felt. Her mom didn't argue. She just sat their and listened. Which made her just as guilty for thinking the same way. 

She strapped her bag around her shoulders and ran out the door in her black ankle boots before her parents could say anything to stop her.

"Blake!"

She thought she could hear her mom's voice call her name, but was too focused on running away to pay attention. If it was their choice, they wouldn't have anything to do with her. Correction, they wanted nothing to do with her. She should've just taken Gambol Shroud and cut up her arm. One nice long smooth cut to ease the pain. The sting of the knife against her skin instead of the tears that refused to come.

When she turned a corner, she slowed down to a walk, no longer in sight of either parental unit. She fought her tears back and continued on the familiar path.

In her head, she could hear their next argument about her. She tried to shake out the negative thoughts, but they often overwhelmed her. Their worlds collided. She didn't fit into their life and she often wondered if she fit in into their world. The air, in the house, outside, threatened to suffocate her. She could even feel the walls yelling while the house was silent. She knew she shouldn't think this way, but it was hard to breath. It took so much of her energy not to have a panic attack. Yang told her to focus on breath and breathing alone. Counting helped sometimes, but it wasn't enough. Walking away and farther from the Belladonna house with every step was just what she needed. 

Down the walkway, she could hear Yang yelling at her mother, Raven, again. Their arguments were a daily habit. Raven had left Yang and her father when she was too young to remember. Summer Rose took care of Yang and Taiyang, Yang's father and he married her. They had Ruby who was two years younger than Yang. Summer died when Yang was seven. Her father was always at the bottom of the bottle when or if he came home every night or morning and did it all over again. Too drunk for a hangover. Yang took care of Ruby by herself, even after Raven came back into her life. Her dad still drank or was lost in his grief, but she supposed Raven made it bearable to be around him. She treated Yang like shit for the same reasons Blake's parents did, except Yang looked too much like her; hated her too much and verbally argued with her just about every morning as Blake walked by. Unlike Blake, Yang wasn't afraid to say what was on her mind and it lead to shouting matches and on occasion, Yang being slapped. She would just smile maliciously at Raven, spit the blood on the concrete and move on. Raven took better to Ruby as she listened, obeyed and was 'normal'. Whatever that meant for the chipper, naive girl who loved sugar and dressed like a modern 'goth' in a red and back corset. 

Today, Yang wore a red bandanna around her neck, a light blue button up, with her tan jacket over it, a red cuff around her right wrist, black skinny jeans, her dark tan combat boots and her beige saddle bag clutched in her fist. 

"This wasn't personal."

"No, it wasn't.” Her clenched fist shook. “You made it personal! You think you can control me!? Be your little puppet who sits and obeys while you just get to do what you want! I'm the one who kept things together! I'm the one who cared for my family! I'm the one who made sure everything was okay at the worst! While you,” She chuckled. “you get to come back when you want, ask for forgiveness from the drunk guy and act like nothing changed!"

"You think life will just come along and be easy for you!? Life is cruel and it doesn't care! You need your higher grades! Collages are competitive!" She deflected. 

"My life would have been better if you never came back! I'm not good at grammar, similes, metaphors homophones, algebra, spelling, or school in general! You know why!? Because you left! And because you left, Tai married Summer and Summer had Ruby. When Summer died, Tai was in a bottle, still in a bottle and I had to care for Ruby and still do! I had to keep things together! I was helping Ruby with her school homework, cleaning the house and cooking dinner which left no time for myself. While you...you got to whatever and whoever you wanted without consequences."

"It's not that simple. You don't know me. You don't know what I've been through. The choices I've had to make."

"You're right. I don't know you. And who's fault is that?" The hidden question Blake knew wasn't asked. Raven probably had no idea it was there. Was I not good enough for you? Was something wrong with me that made you want to leave? Did you know I would turn out like this at birth, so you just left? "I don't know you. I only knew the Raven whom Tai and Qrow told me. Troubled, but fought for what she believed in. People she cared about. And if you killed her, I don't know you. I don't plan on knowing you. Feel free to leave again when it's convenient for you."

"I've made sacrifices and survived because I am willing to do what others won't!"

"Shut up! You don't know the first thing about sacrifice! I've had to sacrifice school, I've had to work jobs under the table! I've had to be a working school mother before I was ten to help provide for Ruby! One of them had to go! You turn your back on people! You run when things get too hard! You've put others in harms way instead of yourself! But that doesn't give you the right to suddenly come back and start pretending you care about me again! You don't have to pretend, not with me. I know that much about you."

"Who do you think you are lecturing me!? Standing their shaking like a scared little girl! It's not my fault you're stupid, worthless, fucked up, and you can't do anything right!"

"Yeah I'm shaking! But I'm not scared! I'm angry! I'm not sure if it's with myself or you! But I'm still standing here! Standing up for myself! Standing against you!" Yang stepped closer to Raven nd whispered in anger. "I'm not like you! I won't run! Am I stupid? Possibly. I had to focus on someone else instead of worrying about myself. Does that make me stupid? In school, sure, in life, that was the best decision I've made. Am I worthless? For the most part, yes. I only have a couple people in my life who would actually miss me if I died. As for being fucked up, well look at my life. My birthmother left me before I could even remember a thing about her. Did you leave after I was brought home, or were you still in the maternity ward? In denial that you were pregnant and just gave birth? 

Tai married his best friend who was there for him through it all. They had a daughter and I was never treated differently despite my status as a bastard child. My mom died and someone had to pick-up the pieces and make sure things got done while Tai went with Qrow bar hopping. 

I wasn't sure if I should have expected him back early the next morning, or when I came back from school and he was passed out on the couch. I had to slack in school because I was too exhausted from working odd jobs to do my homework after cooking dinner, cleaning the house, helping Ruby with her homework, reading bedtime stories and doing things mothers are supposed to do for their children to worry about myself.

On top of that, I had to clean up puke stains and do laundry for a grown ass drunk man who was too drunk and lost in grief to do it himself. I also had to make sure he was bathe and I saw things kids are never meant to see of their parents. Probably why I'm so 'fucked up' as you say. 

As far as not being able to do anything right, Ruby turned out pretty okay. Mostly due to Summer but if I had any part in that, then I did something right. I stayed in school despite nearly dropping out to care for Ruby when I was forced to grow up. 

Do I regret it? No. I love Ruby and I'm happy she my sister. I am walking away because I unfortunately have a hellhole waiting for me where people say shit you're telling me on repeat everyday for the next eight hours, except death threats and planning my 'suicide'. And I've been making my best friend wait for me long enough. If you need me, I'll be at school. Ruby's school started just now and I dropped her off an hour ago so she wouldn't be in the dark with who knows what. You don't have to worry about her getting ready ever again and you don't have to pretend you care about her either. She'll be back a hour before me." 

Raven couldn't take listening to her anymore. “I wish you'd never been born!” She slapped Yang across the cheek so hard her back hit the brick wall. 

Blake's hand covered her mouth as she let out a gasp. It wasn't the first time Raven slapped her, but it was the most forceful. She felt herself get angry and almost charged at her with no real plan. 

Yang lifted her head and gave her a malicious grin. She spit blood on the sidewalk. Her eyes turned a blood red at Raven. “I tell myself the same thing every. Single. Day.” She picked herself up, dusted herself off and turned away.

It was whispered, but Blake still heard it and her stomach dropped. She wished she didn't hear those words leave her best friend's mouth.

Though whispered Raven heard it nonetheless. The older woman instantly regretted her action and words. “Yang...” She tried to grab her arm from the doorway to stop her and apologize. 

Yang aggressively yanked her arm away. “Just let me be who I am! It's what you really need to understand! I don't need you! I've never needed you! I can take care of myself! I can take damn well care of Ruby and sometimes Tai when he feels like it!” Yang yelled as she stormed off with Blake beside her. 

She never spoke about it, but she wished the pain would go away. Not just the fact she felt abandoned by three people, but the fact Raven refused to accept her for who she is, or how she dressed. She wanted to be a mom of a child, but Yang wasn't a child anymore. She was forced to grow up. Her dad not caring as Raven 'took care' of 'his girls'. 

Ruby loved Yang and accepted her mostly as a sister, but knew she had a mom role which was awkward at first. It was mostly the older sister role now as Ruby could care for herself for the most part. Ruby didn't care how Yang dressed or what she looked like, only that her heart remained the same. Ruby used to be the only reason Yang kept going, now she had an additional four.

To Blake, the pain was torture for her. She hated watching her best friend hurt. They both hated seeing the hurt in the other. The pain was torture, but there was no way to unleash it. No way to break free from the confines that were invisible chains holding her down and back. She could cry and cry, but did that already. The pain would never leave. Every time she wanted to scream, her throat would lock up. The scream never left, and the pain never went away. Only a silent scream could be heard, a gasp at best. She wondered if Yang felt the same. 

Yang paced away toward her personal hellhole with Blake walking in front of her. When they reached the top of the school steps, Yang leaned forward letting out a heavy sigh. Blake looked at her concerned but didn't say anything like her usual self. “You okay, kitten?” Yang always asked her. She would only give her the nickname because of the concerned look she received after the birthmother-daughter screaming match this morning along with the most aggressive slap she received. Telling her she wished she'd never been born was the only unspoken that both understood until today when Raven verbalized it. Her mind refused to let her forget those words and wondered what it would look like in an alternate universe where she didn't exist. Yang only called her kitten because of the cat eared beanie she wore. She knew not to say it publicly with anyone but their friends around. 

Blake knew she also didn't call her that specifically because she was a cat Faunus and didn't see her as anything less than human. The eyeliner did wonders to hide the red puffiness of her crying, but Yang could see some glass to them. “...No.” She usually replied, this time her voice nearly breaking. Yang caught onto her lies all the time. She didn't bother trying to fool her anymore. Yang gave her a small smile to help cheer her up and rubbed the beanie between where her two cat ears were to sooth her without touching the sensitive appendages. Blake hated them to be touched directly. “I should be asking you that.” She smiled back up at Yang letting her know she was going to be okay. Maybe not today, tomorrow, or even a year from now, but in that moment with Yang there, she was okay. She knew she would be. 

Satisfied by her response, gently, Yang nudged two fingers into her hand and she curled two fingers around hers. “As long as you, Ruby and our friends are here with me, I'll be okay.” It was her promise to Blake. And it was true. She was closer to Blake than any of their friends, for some reason they hit it off. Not at first with Blake's many walls, but Yang got her to open up. She felt better having Blake there and knew she didn't have to go through this shit alone. Her thinner fingers were soft. Yang was afraid they would shatter at the touch of her calloused ones. 

They did this to comfort each other often. When her days were really bad, they would hide and Yang would scratch her ears to elicit a purr as the vibrations relaxed both of them with the of them embraced. Blake knew Yang would never ask unless she was about to die on the inside. She could see it in Yang's eyes that she wanted to ask. Yang would always ask her if she was okay with it and she would reply with a smile and tell her if it wasn't, she wouldn't have offered. But today, she was tempted, not to comfort Yang, but herself. Yang hadn't picked on that signal yet and Blake wished she could tell her. Her father told her she was useless, stupid and...and Blake almost ran a scratch too deep. It wouldn't be the first one, but Yang did everything she could to have it be the last. She stared up into the face of the red-eyed, black, red streaked hair female who's gaze was drifted on the ground kicking rocks as they walked. 

Yang knew she hated having her ears played with and rarely asked her to do it. She had to dying on the inside to ask her best friend to be comfortable an exposed. She felt like dying on the inside, but refused to ask the question. Her best friend has been though enough without being treated like a pet. Even away from prying eyes and ears, and especially away from 'normal' people.

People around them thought they were dating. New rumors spreading everyday about how close they were. They were called them names as such when they passed. "Dykes" "Lesbians" "Gays" "Skittles" were simply a few to name. They were close friends, nothing more.

Blake kept her concerned amber eyes on Yang's expression as she glared at the sidewalk. The voices of the others drowned out. With Yang there, it was easy to ignore the scrutinizing looks and said names by her warmth and comfort alone. 

Normally, the fighter would pick a fight, but another fight would get her suspended and she couldn't leave Blake alone like that Not in this high school of horrors. Sometimes neither one felt like talking as it was the same bullshit everyday like clockwork. 

They entered the bathroom which people avoided as they used it for this particular moment every morning around the same time. It was out of the way on the other side of campus. Creatures of habit Blake had joked. Yang thought it, but didn't want to seem inconsiderate to her best friend being compared to a creature as people would call her if they knew, if not worse. 

Yang hated this part. She wished she could make it so it wouldn't happen. Blake had determination in her eyes as she reached up and pulled the beanie off. She was curious why she gripped it and pulled it off slowly, slower than usual. She wasn't going to ask as some days she was more self-conscious about her ears than others. She smiled when they twitched at the freedom of their confines. Yang blocked the view from any curious eyes that might wander in with her muscular frame. There were none after a few days of this and Yang getting bloody knuckles from the taunts as teases about the two “Dykes” and “Emos” as well as names that corresponded them being different in their eyes. Blake was always cautious. She didn't want anyone to know she was a Faunus. It was better than hiding in a cramped stall and easier to see her work in hiding them. Blake then took the black ribbon from her arm under her sleeve and covered her ears in a bow. 

Her parents knew she wore the bow when her mom picked her up from the principals office a few times because she “talked back” to her professors with proficient sarcasm. Yang always laughed and said it was one of her best traits, possibly her favorite, aside from her ears she longingly stared with a smile. 

“Don't look at me like that.” Blake tried to joke seeing Yang's scowl in the mirror as she finished straightening it out. 

“I wish I didn't have to. I understand why. I don't like it and I hate you feel you have to hide. They're...I'm trying to avoid the word cute, but that's the best word I can think of other than unique, adorable, different, like us. Not normal.” 

Blake would only hear her ears called cute in front of their three friends mostly by accident. Adorable was new. It took Weiss a little bit not to stare at them and would pretend Blake didn't catch her staring, but Yang didn't try to hide it and when Blake catches her staring. She would smile as she felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable and not have to hide part of her. She flt naked without coverage. The part that made Blake, Blake. Everyone else and before she covered them in middle school called her "Half-breed" "Animal" "Sub-human" "Filth" "Slave" or worse. It was how she met Yang. She was cornered in an alley on her way to school against two boys. Once of them, Sky Lark, held her down while Cardin Winchester had scissors and almost chopped her ears off. Yang had heard her crying, saw what was going on, saw what was going to happen and beat the snot out of them. They ran away bleeding and crying for mommy. Since then, they've been friends. Weiss was Yang's only friend and Ilia was Bake's only friend. The two duos became one quadruple. Well, Weiss and Ilia were dating and always hung out with their single friends without either feeling like the third wheel.

“Besides,” Yang continued pointing her thumb to her chest. “I would beat anyone and everyone on campus if they even thought of saying anything negative.” She wanted to touch them, but it was the same if Blake brushed her hair. She cared too much to just let anyone touch and it was intimate, too intimate. Blake's only brushed her hair a few times and she's only felt that vulnerable a few times in her life. She's brushed it more than Ruby, not that she would admit that.

Blake placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a smile. “I know you would, and while it's appreciated, you should've have to.” She gave her a sad small smile.

But what if I want to? The question Yang would never ask aloud. She'd follow her to class and stay with her the entire day until she got home if it meant she could be free from torment. There were things even Blake hid or didn't talk about. One was her last ex. Yang didn't know all the details, but knew it was bad if Blake built many a wall for the brawler bashed through. “Did you do anything last night or this morning?” She saw the sadness in her beautiful amber eyes and became concerned. 

Blake knew exactly what Yang was talking about. She asked the question everyday and ninety percent of the time the answer was: “No.” She replied gently. It was true, she didn't but she thought about it, almost did it.

“Okay.” The red-eyed woman smiled. She could tell when she lied and she wasn't but she wasn't telling the whole truth either. It was hard to see at first, but her ear twitch was the most obvious. This morning must've not been too bad for her at least, either of them as Yang didn't have a mark made on her today. It was one of the most heated arguments for Yang and Raven's hand expressed all her feelings at the contact. Sometimes well deserved slaps depending how far she pushed and she pushed today wanting to feel that pain she desired. Always with Tai, Ruby, Raven leaving, coming back and how Yang would never acknowledge her as her mother. That spot was saved for Summer. 

"Blake..." Yang's red eyes locked onto her amber ones. 

Blake closed her eyes and winced. She hated and loved when Yang knew she was not telling the whole truth. She couldn't look her in the eyes as started at a corner wall. "I promise I didn't do anything this morning."

"But?" Her eyes held concern.

She sighed. "I heard my parents arguing this morning..."

Yang tilted her head in confusion. She knew it was normal for Blake to wake-up to her parents arguing but today must've been worse than she thought. She was too selfish in thinking of her and Raven's conflict to think about how Blake's rhythm might've changed. "And?"

Blake couldn't hold back as she embraced her best friend. Yang knew it was bad as Blake hated hugs. The brute was a natural hugger, mostly due to Ruby and even back off with Blake and Weiss. "My dad told my mom I'm stupid because I don't try and because of it I'm worthless, I'll be homeless and he's forcing me to change. He said he'd go through my entire wardrobe, burn everything and buy new clothes and force me to comply with society basically. He said my eyeliners first. My mom didn't argue. She just sat there listening. She was nodding her head in agreement." She paused to catch her breath before her make-up would run. "I don't have a home to go back to." She did the breathing exercises Yang told her in order to keep her composure. 

Yang waited for Blake to calm down before speaking. She started humming a tune Blake liked when she felt this way. She sang it to Ruby when she felt sad or was crying after Summer died.

Hush...your cries. Close your eyes. Stay...with....me... Lets just dream....quietly... Of what might be... Calm your fear. I'll be near. To you, I'll...cling. Rest my friend. Time can mend, many things. I don't the answers. Tomorrow's still unknown. But I can make this promise. You wont be alone. I don't know where we should go. Just feeling farther from our goal. I don't know what path we will be shown. But I know that when I'm with you I'm at home. Yes, I know that when I'm with you I'm at home. 

Yang wasn't sure if Blake would feel comfortable having an intimate moment after taking the time to put her bow on. She seemed like she was better with the humming and the strokes weren't necessary. "Blake." She whispered. "Will you play with or brush my hair?" She asked instead as it was safer. 

"Yeah." She squeaked getting her voice back. "I don't have a brush with me."

"I've got one in my bag. Would you be okay skipping first, going into the usual spot and doing this?" Like Blake, Yang didn't want to be exposed with anyone touching or playing with her hair. She beat people up who tried.

"Yeah." She nodded knowing Yang didn't want Blake to ask the 'are you sure question' like she does with her. She was scolded too many times for it and it became their inside joke. 

They grabbed their bags and Yang pulled out eyeliner she didn't use, but had it for Blake as it was the same type she used. Not that she would or ever could tell her. Blake fixed her make-up before they left.

They walked out of the bathroom two fingers joined with the other. Yang wasn't sure if Blake ever felt her pulse beating rapidly when the two did this, but if she did, she never said anything or acknowledged it as they walked off campus. Away from the "Hall monitors" and "Officers".

"Blake, what you said before." She opened her bag and pulled out an insulated cup handing it to her. Blake noticed it was cold to the touch, if not freezing. "Open it and take one." 

Blake opened the lid and pulled a cube of ice. She gave Yang a raised eyebrow. She's never done this in front of anyone before. Why was Yang asking her to do this now?

Yang would answer her look of confusion. "Blake, seriously, it's okay. I know you like Gambol Shroud, but I can't have you cut too deep again. Accident or not. I know you're going to do this with a knife or take Gambol Shroud when you leave, but I can't bare the thought of losing you." She was trying to hold back her tears. “I know it's not the same, but they both cause you the pain you need to express."

Blake understood that much, but that didn't explain everything. As the cube was melting, she took off her stripped sleeve and started rubbing up her arm revealing silver scars going up her arm. Yang already knew they were there when she cut herself too deeply before school and met up with Yang who noticed the area of blood escaping. Yang used her black ribbon as a tourniquet to stop the bleeding which it did eventually. She didn't pass out but felt weak due to the blood loss. Yang carried her to the park and let their friends know where they were. She didn't explain anything to them and Blake told the a half truth of feeling weak.

Blake gasped in relief and sighed in content as the cold water slid down her arm like blood. She used a corner push deep and scratch upward to leave a line. Gosh it felt so good! Sweet relief. "Yang, why do you have this? You're not a cutter." She held it in one spot which you really weren't supposed to do, but the burning and the cramping of muscle felt wonderful. She felt less stressed, even as weird as it was with Yang watching. Now that she noticed, Yang wasn't watching, just keeping her eyes locked on hers. 

For you so I don't have to hear about you cutting a vein too deeply again and dying. "I hate it when I hear that word. No, I'm not. I tried, but feeling the physical pain because the emotional one is too great, I... It doesn't help me feel any better. I like the sting and pain, but it's not what I... not my relief." She turned her eyes away. Not in shame or embarrassment, just to admitting other reasons why she had it. "I do cut myself sometimes, but rarely. It's not my bicep so you can't see it and no one will question it, but I like the feeling it brings without the risk dying painfully. I use ice sometimes in case days get bad." I think about stabbing myself in the heart to end my life every single day and instead slice my arm where nobody will see it. "Not even Ruby knows about it. You're actually the only person I've told."

"So what? You just comfort your friends when they need it and become the reliable one everyone depends on but when you need help you don't say anything knowing the rest of us won't guess or even think something is wrong!? Yang!" She dropped the piece of ice, forgotten and hugged her. "Why didn't you say anything?" She asked near tears. She'd been crying a lot today. Today must be a record for tears and there is a possibility to break hugs as well.

Yang pulled her in close. "Because how am I supposed to take care of my friends when instead they're worrying about me? I have to be strong for everyone. They can't worry about me. They have enough troubles."

"I love Ruby, but it's because of her you're like this. Yang... when you feel these urges, I want you to...talk to me...call me. I don't want you suffering alone, not in silence."

"Like you do? I hate seeing you in pain Blake. I keep telling you to call me, text me, but you never do and then I find out you have a new scar on your arm. It's a two way street Blake."

"Fine." She squeezed harder once and pulled away. "I promise I'll tell you if you tell me." 

Yang looked away sadly. She remembers all the empty promises people made to her and it hurt. "Don't make promises you can't keep." She warned. 

Blake took her hand to get her attention and smiled. "Then I guess I'll have to keep it.” Her face grew serious. “As long as you keep yours." 

“I promise.” Yang smiled back at her and needed to break the moment before she said something stupid. Yang was the first to break away which was strange but not unheard of. She sat on the ground and pulled out a black brush from her bag handing it to Blake who sat behind her. And started stroking her mane. Yang closed her eyes, lost in each stroke. After the long silence she decided to speak. “Blake?” She whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Could you...Agh...Would you..." Blake giggled as Yang hardly stuttered. She wondered it was the question or her strokes. "Would you take off you ribbon? If you're not comfortable with them being out in the open, at least hide them the a beanie.”

"I can, but only if you tell me why." She started braiding her long black hair in one braid. 

"The ribbon suffocates your ears. At least with the beanie, your ears have breathing room if not freedom to move."

She looked around and listened for any noise. "Okay." She took off her beanie, and wrapped her arm around Yang to drop it to her front. Took off the ribbon with her ears twitching instinctively at freedom. She grabbed the beanie and placed it on, not quite comfortable with showing them off if someone were to stumble upon them. 

She loved how soft the fabric was against her ears. Yang had many talents. The beanie was absolutely perfect for her and gave her ears the breathing room they needed while not drawing suspicion. It was the best gift anyone made or got her. Yang made it for her when she was using her bow to hide her ears. 

That's when a thought hit her. Yang was nearly purring, lost in the strokes the brush made that is was hard for her to think at all. "Yang?"

"Yeah." She said gently as if on the verge of sleep.

"I know you can hardly focus when I brush your hair, so for you to think about my ears, you really hate that I conceal them, don't you?"

"Mhm hm." She hummed. Blake saying something about her hardly being able to think is accurate. It was true. Yang hated for Blake to hide herself, but seeing as she was going to do it anyway despite Yang's protest, she made her a beanie of a fabric Blake picked out and a book telling her how to make it. It look a few tries until it was acceptable. 

She remembers the quizzical look Blake gave her when asked to pick a fabric after guiding her through the isle. When they go to their quiet place in the park, Yang asked her to get measurements on her ears. That was a nightmare as Yang refused to answer why and Blake didn't make it any easier. Instead, accusing her of secretly being racist against Faunus when they both knew she wasn't. Never one to back down from a challenge, they were at a stalemate and she could see it turn out badly if one didn't give in. Yang didn't give in but didn't want pride to ruin their friendship and said it would hopefully be a pleasant surprise. Blake reluctantly let it go and let Yang measure them with her fingers, not having a ruler, much to Blake's annoyance. "But if you're going to hide them anyway, at least try to make it as comfortable as possible." She yawned as skilled fingers worked her hair. 

After an hour, Yang spoke again feeling her fingers slow. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah. Just..." She took out the black hair tie and the bottom of the braid started to become undone. Blake stroked her nails gently through it as it was becoming untangled back into it's unruly position to not look as if it was messed with. She took off the beanie and placed the bow over her ears again. She twitched them to test the restraints before placing the beanie on. 

They curled two fingers around each others again, looking to the other with smiles now as they made their way back to campus. The bell for second had just rang as students were in the hallways going to their next class. Glares and judgmental eyes passed as they walked, but neither cared. This morning was emotionally exhausting for the both of them. Strangers were not worth their time. 

Eventually, they had to part ways. They waved a single goodbye. Blake disappearing behind the glass doors while Yang kept going down the walkway. When she took off her beanie, her ears covered by her bow and went to class as the bow was allowed, but the beanie wasn't allowed. Stupid school rules that don't make any sense.

In the hallway, she could feel all eyes on her. Eyes that were intentionally glued to their scrolls, now on her. Two girls approached her. Their names, Cinder and Emerald, but Blake nicknamed them as Bully One and Lost Puppy Two. They stood on opposite sides of her as they walked. Cinder on her right and Emerald on her left. Unfortunately, she had to stop by her locker and the two stood beside her. “Loser”. Cinder said beside her, not bothering to whisper. When she stopped by her locker the mint haired girl covered any echo with the wall of her hand at the side of her mouth and whispered “Get lost, bitch”. Of course it was loud enough for Cinder to give an approved “Hm.” Neither of the females knew she was a Faunus, this was just for the fact of the way she was different from everyone else. History shows people killed what they didn't understand. She was different and not in a good way in their eyes. The amber eyed, long hair brunette with the braid said “Wimp”. The red eyed bobbed haircut girl shot back with “Failure”. She tried not to let the words bother her like Yang had reassured her, after beating the snot out of them one day which made things worse for her, but the words still hurt mixed with how her father felt about her. Especially with her dad talking about her average grades and how worthless she is.

Yang offered to walk her to class, but she didn't want to burden her best friend and told her they left her alone after she got one good punch in on Cinder. It was the one lie she was able to get away with before Yang knew when she lied. The reason for it was because the fighter had her eyes closed and was too pleased with herself to notice.

First, her parents argued about her this morning, now popular girls at school were telling her what her mind reminded her of everyday. It was like this every morning. One would think she would be used to the treatment, but it still hurt. More and more each day as the words were true, whether they knew it or not. The last word hurt the most. “Cutter”. It left Cinder's lips as Emerald laughed. She got her books and they continued to follow her.

"Dressing up in black is not a fashion trend. You try to be popular, but you're not." Cinder shot. 

"I mean you're not even pretty. You think you are and you think this look is good for you, but it's not." Emerald followed up. “Nothing will ever look good on you.”

Blake gripped her bag tighter and tried not to let the words bother her. Especially after everything Adam put her though. He told her the exact same thing. That he was just settling for her. She wasn't anything special. 

"You know what that means? I'm going to fuck you up tomorrow and make sure no one recognizes you. Wipe away any chance of pretty you might've had and wipe the floor with your face." Cinder promised. 

Blake felt some anger rise in her and wanted to fight back. She had too much to put up with this morning to deal with them. "What's your problem with me?" She started out slow yet assertive knowing the less she says the better. 

"Every time I see you my eyes burn and I'm nearly blind because of it. Everyone would be better off if you just killed yourself. Its not like you have friends anyway."

Blake's eyes widened as she took in Cinder's words. She trained herself not to react to things. This was certainly new for her to say, but Blake never asked why before, she tried to ignore them and not give them any satisfaction. "I actually have friends. They don't follow me around like lost puppy dogs." Blake couldn't back down now after she started. 

"You have friends? Who?" Emerald felt offense with her comment. Yes she follows Cinder, but she's not lost. She can take care of herself. 

"Weiss, Ilia and Yang." She spoke plainly

"Weiss and Ilia are lesbian cunts for dating each other and because of that they don't have time for you when they got their fingers and tongues so far into each other. And Yang, Yang only hangs out with you because she feels sorry for you. She could've been popular, star of the football, wrestling or boxing team, but she chose to hang out with you and gave all of that up because she feels sorry for you. She could've been an athlete like Pyrrha, maybe Pyrrha's second. But instead she was too busy caring for a little stray, giving her a collar which you already wear, and being a master to you. I mean, you've already got the beanie you wear for ears. Now you just need mittens for paws, use your eyeliner for whiskers, meow and you would be the perfect cat. Yang's perfect stray."

Blake swallowed at the racially charged words. They didn't know she was a Faunus, but it still hurt and they talked as if they knew. Yang is her best friend, someone who sees her and Ilia as equals, not her master. Yes she would've been good at sports, but she didn't want to be part of the problem she had with school. She held her ground and refused to give into what everyone expected her to be and she just lived her life how she wanted. Mostly due to defying Raven. She knew they were lying, but it still hurt. And as for Ilia and Weiss, Weiss hated public displays of affection and Ilia was easily embarrassed. They respected other people and looked like close friends rather than girlfriends in the distance in a public space. Her blood boiled that Cinder said cruel things about her friends. She didn't show it and forced herself to relax when she realized she was squeezing her strap too hard. 

"Why don't you just do us all the favor and kill yourself!?" Emerald finished. The two girls walked off in laughter. 

Blake bowed her head in shame when they were out of sight. How often had she thought about it? How often had she tried it and almost succeeded? Ilia and Weiss were dating and got a lot of shit for it, but they were happy with each other. Blake wished she could find that happiness, but she didn't deserve it. Yes they were dating, but they all still hung out at friends. The movie theater, the yearly fair and sometimes the mall. Mostly SceneTopic for anime, new piercings, clothes that were too expensive but worth it, their favorite bands, black nail polish, black eyeliner, and the candy Yang would always buy for Ruby as it was usually rare. Blake tried twice to bleed and couldn't do it. Only once after hearing her parents argue could she slice the vein and run out the door before her mom could stop her. Yang saved her life first on the way of what was supposed to be school instead of the park. She slapped Blake for being stupid and cried because she nearly lost her and later told her to use hydrogen peroxide to get the stain out. Seeing the pain in her eyes, even when they were closed and she cried, she couldn't do that to Yang, not again. Yang made her promise she would tell her when she thought about cutting herself and to be there for her and stop her if necessary. Blake agreed, unable to deal with the pain of seeing Yang so vulnerable again. 

Yang even suggested ice instead of a knife. The first time she tried it, she rubbed the cube up her arm as it was melting and it felt like blood dripping down her arm along with pain. Pain her emotions could never express. She sighed into the relief the feeling brought her. If she held it one spot for too long, the area would burn into a pink, cramp and cause her the pain she sought, leaving no lasting damage and giving her exactly what she wanted. It was exactly what she needed without burdening anyone, especially Yang. She worried her best friend enough. Yang never asked her about how much or how often she used ice, only her knife and any possible future scars she might make. It was probably not to embarrass her or make her feel inadequate for using ice more or less in a twenty-four hour period. She had never had she done it in front of her and only found out today she carried ice cubes in her bag. Blake was scared to know why. She knew Yang was going through more pain than any of them realized, but just how bad was it if she carried cubes in her bad. 

Blake also knew Yang liked her hair, but she didn't like it brushed or touched. She would beat up anyone who tried or even thought about touching it. Why would she have it if he never brushed it? She used beauty products to take care of it and only the best dye when her natural blonde hair color was starting to show, but for her to carry a brush seamlessly, for no reason. It was strange. 

Blake eyes shot open with a thought. What else she carrying they don't know about!? She's happy she made Yang promise not to do anything stupid without telling her first. Blake's eyes were nearly bulging open. Yang smells like sunflowers, honey and gunpowder at times. She fires weapons! She could easily point it into her and fire. She shook the thought from her head as she needed to head for class. 

Yang promised to tell her if something was wrong. What else was her best friend hiding that she didn't know and is just now starting to pay attention? She was known as the perceptive one, why is she just now starting to notice? She didn't understand why it hasn't bothered her so much before until now.

Blake was sitting in class thinking about Yang. She wondered if they could be something more. Something she would never have the courage to ask or even the right as guilt plagued her mind. Yang had confessed she had feelings for Blake, only after the cat Faunus forced it out of her. She knew Blake didn't feel the same way which is why she never pushed until Blake pushed her to reveal her feelings. They remained friends and Yang seemed okay... A year later, she was dating Adam. Tauradonna as they were known, almost destroyed their friendship, all friendships she had. She just pinged Yang as jealous for being rejected when she like Adam. Yang had snapped and told her it wasn't like that. She told her Adam was standoffish, delusional, arrogant, and she didn't get a good vibe from him. Blake had told her she was crazy and was going to what she wanted anyway. She wished she would've listen to Yang instead of nearly cutting her off. They all remained friends, but the thread was becoming thinner as Blake was isolating herself to be with him.

Blake wasn't sure if she herself was bi, but she didn't want him to control her life anymore, even if indirectly. He helped comfort her at first with both of them being Faunus. He was a bull Faunus with black horns pointed back into his red hair. He was justice, standing up for the Faunus who couldn't fight back. Once they started dating, he was passion. She thought he loved her, and in his abusive way, he did. He controlled her, manipulated her and worse. He tried to justify himself with excuses, but it only worked for so long. She left him. Never looked back. Part of her missed him at first, but she realized what he was doing, wasn't real love. He was spiteful toward humans, especially Weiss and Yang. It was before Ilia and Weiss dated thankfully as it could've been worse for both of them. Whatever wasn't used up from anger, he used on Blake when she questioned or doubted him, especially when it came to defending her friends. What made her realize this, was when he tried to comfort her after a bad night, his touch was cold. She had isolated herself from her friends because of him. She felt so alone even though he held her in his arms. She realized she was alone and reached out to her friends again after not talking in months. She felt embarrassed and thought she'd get an “I told you so” from Yang. She was happy when the thought never crossed her mind, but to get her out of danger. She was there to support her all the same. Even after Blake said mean and hurtful things, she didn't mean a word when she cut them off to be with him. 

She had more walls around her friends than she should've. She felt like they secretly judged her for putting herself in that situation despite their warnings. Weiss and Ilia would mostly stayed silent around her after she called Ilia a coward for not following Adam and standing up for the Faunus. Ilia agreed something needed to be done, but Adam's methods were not conventional and not equal to everyone. Blake told Weiss she was a stalker for trying to find out more about him using resources available through her father's company. She assumed Yang was jealous, a coward for not admitting how she truly felt when Blake was with Adam, but that wasn't it. She silently supported Blake in decision as it was her choice. It took her a while to fully trust her friends again. Even shorter time for them to trust her. With Yang, as patient as the blonde was despite what rumors say with her short fuse, refused to give up and helped destroy the walls she put up in her own isolation in a few short months. She bridged the gap between Blake, Ilia and Weiss. Blake doesn't know where'd she be without the atomic blonde. 

She felt attraction toward Yang within the past year, if not two, but realized it over the summer when she didn't see her everyday and missed her. Especially when Ilia and Weiss were around, made her realize how she could be with Yang. Blake didn't know when she felt differently about her. She wondered if Yang still felt the same and wanted to give it a shot. What if that was over and saw her as nothing more than a friend. Perhaps it was her turn to silently stand-by and watch Yang be happy with someone else. She didn't think a relationship was possible no that she deserved one. Yang admitted her feelings over four years ago. They've likely been extinguished.

The bell rang, snapping Blake from her thoughts. How and when was she even in class? When did she get to class? Too lost in thought and mindlessly wandered. 

Blake was in art class. She could express herself through her work, but the teacher didn't understand her ideas. Just because they weren't 'typical', didn't make it wrong. She hated how everyone was supposed to be in this box. Dress the same, act the same, all the same with similar ideas and no originality. Not just in art class, but in real life. All the females with their friends giggling like little school girls over their assignment. She sat in the back, which was fine, as she was ignored. But the wall behind her always bothered her. Was it really necessary to have a blue sky, a rainbow with pink lilies on the wall behind her? This room is full of high school students. If this was elementary school I'd be different. Nobody thought life was all sunshine and rainbows anymore. High school life was a testament to that. 

The professor took the project she was working on when she finished for a grade. When she flipped it over, Professor Goodwitch glared down at her with a scowl. “Miss. Belladonna, the assignment was to draw a flower.”

Blake drawn a detailed a graveyard of crosses and gravestones in a black sky, except an area of swirls depicting a tornado. On the bottom left corner gravestone, stood a lone daisy. “There is a flower.” She stated. Why did she have to be so bitter about a flower assignment? Oh, I'm not sorry it's not what everyone else is turning in with their flowers taking up the entire page unnecessarily.

“We're going to have a talk to Professor Ozpin.” She stepped away to collect other students papers.

Did I let you down again? Great, first my parents, then Yang, then Adam, then Ilia, Cinder, Emerald, then Yang again and you... I disappoint you every time I have this class. It's like you're bitter about me or something. I'm not sorry I'm not your stereotypical, high school female that does and says whatever you wish like the good bitches they are. I've let you and everyone else down again. Of course what she means by 'we're going to talk to Professor Ozpin' she means 'she's going to talk to Professor Ozpin' while I wait in the chair outside his door for someone, probably my mom to show up since my dad doesn't give two shits.

Blake waited patiently outside the office as the professor explained to him the drawing and her comment. Apparently, her explanation was taken as back talking and she was to go to the principal Ozpin's office...again... When her mother showed up. Kali ignored her, glaring to know what she did this time and walked inside. While they discussed their reoccurring problem subject as she tried to ignore them, her feline ears heard everything through the window and the cracks in the door. She felt the tempest of the storm inside her rising again as they talked. She could hear the disappointment in Ozpin's voice and the anger in Goodwitch (Badwitch) and her mother. There had been jokes tossed around that she should go see a therapist or be locked in a psych-ward but they sounded rather serious about therapy this time. Like talking to someone is any different from venting to her friends who understood her. Clearly none of the 'adults' do and they didn't try to understand either.

She slumped in the back of the chair with her legs stretched out and her purple saddle bag draped on the ground as she tried to calm herself. Thankfully, she was able to distract herself enough to find patterns in the tile roof. She heard the whisper of students as they passed and she wished she could ignore all their comments or at least be loud enough to drown out the conversation inside, if not be completely invisible. Disappearing from the world didn't seem so bad right now or disappear off school grounds. Invisible, not dead. 

Professor Badwitch explained the assignment to Ozpin and her mother. They all seemed annoyed for her abstract view on things, the way of the world and how it didn't confine her to their way of thinking. Her friends understood and would have her back. If only they were there. Ozpin tried to give her mom the 'This is a serious matter' talk but her mother understood how serious it was.

Blake tried not to laugh thinking how ridiculous this was. I did follow the assignment. There is a flower. The assignment was a flower picture. Oh a picture of course, should've brought my camera and put one on there. Blake laughed to herself. They all knew this was a waste of time. She closed her eyes and took a breath, calming her thoughts as their discussion was coming to an end. 

She heard the door open and her mother stood in the doorway. They shared eye contact. Kali glared at her in disapproval. She put on her coat prepared to leave. “Blake! Home!” Two simple words that expressed how pissed she was as she was storming away down the all too familiar path in shame.

Blake looked at the the other side of the wall. Her ears would've gone flat if they could've as she took a second look at the woman who birth her, probably regrettably, as she continued to walk away. Did her mom just tell her home? What about her father's threat this morning? Sure he was probably still at work, but after their fight this morning where her mother just sat back and silently agreed, Blake didn't have a home to go back to. She couldn't leave with her. 

Her face hardened as she spoke. “No!” She told her back. No way Blake was going to go home like this. She followed the assignment. Art is objective. Just because it wasn't what the teacher was looking for, doesn't make it wrong. Just because she didn't want to be in a box of glitter doesn't mean she should be forced. She wants to be outside her box. It was hard to breath. She did it, she had finally told her mother what has been on her mind but had previously been too scared to say anything. Their world and hers collided. She didn't belong here, or even 'fit in' with them. They tried to force it, force her to comply. It's just a stage. No it's not. If it is, then it's a stage that's lasted for years and will continue to do so. 

She felt the storm inside her rise at her defiance. It continued to build up like a brick wall until she spoke her peace. It rages inside her, waiting for her mother's response for the wind to pick up speed and howl right back at her with everything she had. She didn't care who or what was listening anymore. They could all be damned for all she cared. Her mother and all the students now turned to them. All eyes were on her. She hated it, but grew used it to as it still made her uneasy. This is who she was. Blake Bella- Blake! If she or anyone else didn't like it, they could ignore her as she would go about her life.

Blake finally understood what and how Yang felt everyday she argued with Raven. This is who she is. Finally able to express her thoughts into words without closing up on her. Blake glared back at her mother for the challenge. This is what her mother needs to see. This is who Kali Belladonna needed to understand. 

Instead of an argument however, Kali raised her hand and slapped Blake across the cheek. Blake was in shock. She had never been hit by anyone but Adam before. She held her cheek as it throbbed in pain. 

She paused for a moment. That was it. 

That was the moment of Blake's pain. Not just the physical pain or the force behind it, but she understood her mother now. For that moment, she could read Kali's thoughts. Kali was a calm-angry. Kali wanted her to be like everyone else when she wasn't. She was going to force Blake to comply with society no matter what. The pain she felt, the pain of the storm she wished would go away, it never would. She understood that her moth-Kali would never understand her or even try to. Would never understand the woman who was once her daughter. Blake had now separated herself from them, Kali separated herself first as Blake felt it in her connection. Her blood family was no more. That was the straw that broke the camels back. 

Kali had her back to her as she spoke. “We're going!” She exclaimed. There was no other option but for Blake to go home with her. Especially after this embarrassment of a display. Her insubordination will be punished. 

Blake stood there for a moment still in shock. The torture would continue. Blake couldn't live like this with the Belladonna's anymore. When she heard her mother's voice again, she ran the other way. She didn't care who saw her as tears welled in her eyes. “Blake!” She heard Kali's voice yell across the hall. All eyes were on her as she pushed open the double doors to freedom. The brightness of the sun causing temporary blindness as her pupils shrank like a cat as they adjusted. 

She could feel tears like sparkles leaving her eyes as they shined in the sun. The forward sprint of her momentum sending them back. She closed her eyes. She knew. Blake knew she would never be able to break free anymore. She couldn't live like that, and she couldn't be who she was. Tears were released as she cried. She tried to scream out her pain, but all that left her was a gasp. A silent scream. 

She didn't even noticed her friends as she passed Ilia and Weiss who sat under a tree. “Blake!” Ilia called her name but she didn't look back. Weiss wore a look of concern watching her friend run. They ran after her, but trailed behind as cat Faunus sprinted. 

How could she look back at her friends? Her cheek didn't hurt. It was the fact that her once mother had slapped her. Someone who was supposed to love, accept and nurture her unconditionally, betray her. Weiss explained what is was like when she was slapped by her father only once, and Yang by Raven, but the betrayal behind hurt the most. She would never be welcomed home. She could never face her Kali again. Forget Ghira. She definitely knew she wasn't loved by them anymore. She had no idea what she would do, where she would go. She couldn't go back to them.

Blake ran. She had no idea where she was going, or where she was heading. All she could do was cry. She tried crying for help. Nobody even cared enough to listen. Only her friends who understood her and knew what she was going through. Everyone but Ilia except. They shared Faunus traits that needed to be hidden. Not her professors, her guardians, nobody. Her guardians were supposed to love her unconditionally. They wanted to force her to confine with societies rules and expectations. What was normal? Instead of asking what was wrong and why she expressed herself differently? Instead, they argued, yelled and in this case, Kali slapped her for simply expressing herself. Why couldn't they love her for her? Whatever the reason, it wasn't going to happen.

A sign above her said 'Park' in an iron archway but she paid it little attention as she ran toward the calm relaxing music. The sound of a harmonica being blown transferred into music her feline ears heard. 

Blake felt like she was drowning. The pain of what the slap represented, all the girls who stared, whispered, and her par-caregive-guardians yelling every morning because of her. The pain of years of neglect, verbal abuse, isolation, psychological trauma, social anxiety and her emotions all coming out as once. It overwhelmed her. She was drowning in pain and emotion. She needed a lifesaver. She needed to be brought to the surface to breath again. She needed to be saved. 

After a few minutes and the sound becoming louder, and she smelled a familiar scent. When she looked up, she saw who was playing. “Yang!” She cried. She wasn't sure what she was hoping for or wanted.

Yang stopped playing. Concern and shock filled her expression when she saw her. Tears had just finished leaving her eyes, there was a red spot on her right cheek and she looked lost, sad and scared. “Blake!” Yang didn't think anymore. She dropped her instrument on the bench and ran straight to her with open arms.

Blake met her halfway and rested her head in her chest. It was a comfort to her. The red-eyed brunette smelled of sunflowers, honey and slight gunpowder. The taller woman held her around her shoulder blades as she held her close. Blake had her left leg slightly raised with the ball of her foot on the ground leaning into her. Hand wrapped around her mid and upper back. Yang moved her right hand just under her black beanie to hold her closer. Blake let her tears fall freely as she sniffled. Yang always knew what to do and how to comfort her. She just wished she could do the same for her. If she got the chance, if Yang gave her the chance, she would. Everyday they were together. 

She felt bad as she was getting eyeliner on her shirt from her tears and possibly straining it. She knew Yang wouldn't care if it was any indication the way she held her head so close in her chest without touching her sensitive ears, but it still bothered her. Something small and minuscule, but it would be another way she owed her. Yang had done so much for her that she wouldn't understand. Yang never complained, griped or even showed discomfort as she bent over backwards and jumped through fire ringed hoops for her. All she was met with was a warm embrace, and a smile in her eyes and face.

In the moment, Blake felt safe and she knew how to make it up to her. She moved one of Yang's hand to her covered feline appendage and let it scratch. Despite the clipped fingernails, beanie and ribbon covering her ears, she left out a soft rubble from above her chest. She smiled when she heard Yang's response.

Yang always gasped and exhaled her stress as it melted from her body with Blake's purrs. She moved her head between Blake's ears and closed her eyes. She loved how much closer she was to the natural brunette. They relaxed into each other as they held each other close.

How could Blake not realize it before? Their bodies fit together like they were molded for one another. Yang's head was the perfect height for Blake to be directly underneath to protect her neck as Blake's leaner frame was able to fit into her perfectly. She naturally purred feeling her warm body heat even as the hand that was on her ear left. Blake would be content being held by Yang for hours. Even if she did ruin her chance of being with Yang. 

Yang's eyes shot open and she realized she needed to break away. The moment too intimate. They were friends, not girlfriend's. That was why she removed her hand slowly as Blake was calming down. Feeling no more tears, she asked. “Feeling better?”

“Mhm.” She slowly nodded. She felt Yang try to break away and held tighter. She wasn't going to let her go. Not this time. She needed to feel Yang there, to ground her. 

After several long minutes, Blake broke away and the red-eyed woman reluctantly let her go but tried not to show it. She gently reached for her wrist and guided her to the bench. It pained her to see Blake's body curled into a ball, trying to be as small as possibly with her amber eyes sadly staring into Yang's. She hated that she wanted to be small, invisible and still felt like a burden. She saw her best friend fully and clearly. And what she saw, she hated. A broken cat Faunus treated less than human because of how she chooses to express herself. 

Yang sat crisscross to her right and gently placed her fingers on top of her right forearm as to be careful so she wouldn't take it the wrong way. Concerned amaranth eyes staring back. Blake didn't think they could turn any color red except her strawberry red and scarlet red when she was angry. Yang sat there and didn't say anything but be there for her. She knew Blake would tell her, or tell her when she was ready which could be close to never. She just needed time. Time that was well spent in Yang's mind. Even if they were best friends instead of something more.

Blake felt safe. She was with Yang who told her it would be okay and she would get through it, together. Yang would break down any obstacle for her, if it meant she could and would get through it. Yang understood her. She understood that she needed, to take her time and she would choose to tell her. Yang would never ask, and Blake felt like she never owed her an explanation, but it helped her explain situations and in her mind, she was obligated to tell Yang. Even though she knew the brawler would say otherwise. Being there with Yang, she felt her pain fading. She felt herself breath again. Yang is her lifesaver. Just Yang being there, helped her breathe and tread water.

Blake took her time and eventually explained everything without breaking down again. When she finished, Weiss and Ilia had arrived hand in hand. Weiss broke their hands and waved hi. They both knew Blake needed her space, she trusted nobody more than Yang, with Ilia as a close second. “Hi Blake!” Ilia smiled. Blake didn't know what came over her as she leaped from the bench and embraced Ilia. Both Yang and Weiss smiled as they saw them embrace. 

Ilia had a crush on Blake a long time ago and didn't tell her for the longest. This was before Yang had let her feelings for Blake be known and she was chasing Adam at the time. After the Adam disaster, Ilia confessed after much convincing from Yang. Yang told her it's the confessions you don't say that you regret. She had no idea the woman had a crush on Blake either. Ilia had found out way later by eavesdropping when Blake forced it out of her. She then asked Yang why she helped Ilia into asking her when Yang felt the same. The selfless blonde answered that she wanted Ilia to be happy no matter what the response was and that her life something she never wanted to drag Blake into and never planned on telling her. Of course Yang put everyone else before herself. Unfortunately, it was what isolated Blake from them completely. 

Yang also saw the way Weiss admired her after a year of her confession. She didn't know Weiss falling for her until Yang guided her, both of them. She didn't want Ilia or Weiss to be flat out rejected by the other and let their feelings come to the surface and be known to themselves before expressing them. Ilia kind of blames caring for Ruby for that as she was the mom of the group. Always caring for others without expecting anything in return. She's been happy since being with Weiss. They were all lucky to have each other. 

“Ilia!” Blake exclaimed happy to see her. 

When they broke apart, Yang decided to take the lead. They laid in a circle with their heads close together staring into the sky. “What a shitty day!” She groaned with her hands behind her head. 

“And on top it's sunny.” Ilia complained blocking her eyes from the sun with her hand. Yang always had her dark shades.

“Ilia!” Weiss exclaimed as she didn't mind the sun too much. Coming from Atlas, they had mostly overcast skies that blocked the sun. 

On Yang's left, Blake was wiping tears from her eyes as she laughed. It was the best laugh she had in a while. Not really knowing what was so funny. Maybe it was the day she had and her emotions were being released. Her silent scream finally becoming free with her friends gathered in a circle. Except it wasn't a scream, it was her uncontrollable laughter. 

Blake was not one for this much emotions, and Ilia followed suit as her laughs, chuckles, and snorts became contagious. Yang curled her lips and tried to keep it in her throat, but soon followed and clutched her stomach from pain as her muscles tightened. Weiss has failed to see what was funny and stared at them confused. She started with fake laughs, then they turned into giggles covered by her hand until she was bursting out loud, laughing with the rest of her friends. Blake continued to wipe tears out of her eyes from laughing so hard. 

When they all calmed down about ten minutes later, Yang grabbed her harmonica and started playing. It took a while because as soon as they all calmed down, one person would look like they were going to laugh and the one would laugh seeing them about to laugh and the cycle started over. 

Ilia laid on her stomach in the grass with her knees on the ground and legs pointed up in the air. Resting on her elbows with fists loosely rested under her chin staring at Weiss. Weiss laid on her back, hands relaxed on her stomach as she stared into the sky with her knees bent. 

Blake sat with her knees bent, butt on the ground, and hugging her knees. She stared into the horizon with hope in her eyes. All she needed was a few people around her to support and love her. Her family. She looked on, she saw the constellation Yang drew for her on her postcard. She shook her head and pushed the thoughts of her past home away. With her family surrounding her, she was home. She hadn't even noticed Yang was staring at her as she played. The harmony was music to both sets of her ears. Speaking of which, since they were alone with trees surrounding them. Blake took off her beanie, untied her ribbon and twitched her ears free. She saw her amaranth eyes smile as her lips already were against the instrument seeing her express herself freely without judgment or fear. 

I'm caught up in your expectations. You try to make me live your dream. But I'm causing you so much frustration and you only want the best for me. You're wanting me to show more interest. To always keep a big, bright smile. Be that pinky, little, perfect princess. But I'm not the type of child. 

And the storm is rising inside of me. Dontcha feel that our worlds collide. It's getting harder to breathe. It hurts deep inside. Just let me be who I am. It's what you really need to understand. And I hope so hard for the pain to go away-ay. And it's torturing me. But I can't break free. So I cry and cry but just won't get it out. The silent scream... My silent scream.  
_________

It was well after dark when Weiss and Ilia needed to head home or one of their sleepovers. Ilia and Blake hugged before leaving as Weiss and Blake understood they didn't like hugs and nodded goodbye. Yang hugged Ilia and Weiss before they left hand in hand. She texted her sister saying she wouldn't be home and there were plenty of choices for dinner and cookies did not constitute as dinner. 

Ruby didn't know the whole story, but knew things were tense between Raven and Yang. When she had sick days, she heard Raven slap Yang once after their yelling match. She wanted to do and say something but was too sick to move or talk. She had seen the slap mark before, but as always, Yang told her not to worry about it. She didn't know it came from Raven. Yang insisted she'd say home to care for Ruby but Raven said her grades were bad enough without missing school and she'd take care of Ruby. Yang didn't trust her and probably never completely would be left anyway after their bout. 

“Yang?” Blake turned to the woman in question. 

“Yeah.” She simply responded with her back turned as she was making a fire in the fire pit. 

“What were you doing out here?” She asked curiously with some concern. 

“Same as you I guess, skipping school. I was practicing my harmonica as the birds appreciate more than Raven or my hungover father. I'd play for Ruby if she wasn't in school.” 

“You know that's not what I meant.” 

She sighed. “I know.” Yang turned around when she heard rustling. “What are you doing!?” She stood up. She tried rushing to Blake before she could examine all the contents in her bag. 

“I'm looking for something.” She dug and found exactly what she was looking for with widened eyes when she felt it. 

“What exactly?” Yang was pissed. She never went through Blake's things and Blake just went through hers without asking. 

“Almost everyday I notice you smell like gunpowder and I was curious as to why.” She stood up and faced Yang with her eyes closed. She pulled it out pointed it to the ground and opened her amber eyes which held fear. “What is this!? How long have you had it!?” 

“That is half of Ember Celica!” Yang shouted. Blake had half her weapon! Her personal weapon that she cared for. Blake may as well have been touching her hair without her permission. “If you point her at yourself and pull the trigger I will never forgive you. Put the gun down and pretend like you never saw anything.” 

That's what Yang was worried about? Blake had it pointed at the ground with intention of moving the barrel. “What do you mean half of it!?” Half? There was more? There was another part she didn't know about? What else was Yang possibly hiding from her and why? “I can't set this down and ignore it! I've been noticing you smell like powder and ignored it long enough. I can't ignore this!”

“Celica is my boot knife. Can't have one without the other.” Yang's anger had calmed, but it was still present in her scarlet eyes. 

“Show me.” Blake wanted to see them, needed to see them. She wasn't sure why, but she did. Yang pulled her leg up and pulled her knife out of her boot. Blake reached for it and Yang was hesitant and pulled it away at first then handed it over. Blake held it. Blake held part of her. It may as well have been her hair.

Blake noticed it was fancier than Gambol Shroud. The handle was in a shape of a Chinese dragon marked out in gold. The blade was sharp and looked hardly used. She could smell wood and blood and knew it was well used. It was just how well Yang took care of it. “Why do you have them?” She was scared to know the answer. 

“One, Ruby is obsessed with weapons and I taught her how to use smaller guns going bigger every time when we go to the gun range so she wouldn't accidentally get mine and shoot herself. Two, I go to the gun range to relieve my stress if not a secluded area to shoot my dad's empty bottles when the Branwen house becomes too much. Three for self-defense when I get jumped from time to time and fists aren't enough which is why you smell blood on the knife that mostly isn't mine. And four...” She faced away. “Well... you have Gambol Shroud, I have Ember Celica.” 

“You idiot!” Blake was in front of her and raised her hand ready to slap, but she stopped. Yang saw her hand and she reacted as such if it was Raven. Blake's never seen such a blank stare from her. It scared her how easily Yang could push her emotions away, especially of pain. With her head still at ready, she remembered what her mom did to her a few hours before. She dropped her hand and started to cry. She couldn't do that to Yang. She loved her and though it hurt that Yang had thought about hurting herself, Blake's slap would give her more reason. She couldn't betray Yang like that. She couldn't be a reason for Blake to live without her. Not the way Adam did to her, not the way Kali did, and not the way Raven treated her best friend. Yang had only slapped her once, but that was because she almost died after Yang had saved her. Yang didn't act on her thoughts she only cut her bicep.

Yang hated watching Blake cry. She anticipated the slap that never came. She wondered why she changed her mind. She certainly deserved it. Instead, she held her arms out, not wanting to push her, and Blake fell into her warm embrace again. 

“I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...” She cried into her.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” She held her tightly to comfort her best friend. 

“But I do. Here you are being patient with me, telling me to use ice instead of a knife and I accidentally cut too deep one day and...but you just have thoughts and go to the gun range and never acted on them-.”

“I'm gonna stop you right there.”

“Huh?” Blake looked up into her eyes. 

“I have acted on them. I go into the woods alone. I hold the knife to my heart and I've tried to stab but it doesn't ever go through. I hold my head right against the barrel. Like your knife against your wrsit, just having it there gives me comfort. It gives comfort, knowing there's a way out but I'm strong enough not to take it. When I close my eyes with the cold muzzle against my head, I see the little girl I raised turning into a bright young lady. I see Weiss and how we met as school in detention because she used to be bossy and I didn't put up with it. Our detention made us realize we were more alike than different and showed it in different ways. She started becoming more likable and not like how her family wants her to be. I see you when we first met in that alley and how scared you were and I see you now as who you want to be in not meeting anyone's expectations but your own. I see Ilia feeling more comfortable around a Weiss and I and changing colors as well as not hating all humans as much. That's when I put the gun down and realize how lucky I am to Ruby and my friends in my life.” Her friends n the order she met them.

“Yang? Why don't you tell me? Why didn't you tell anyone? We're you're friends. You can trust us. I-We love you too much to lose you.” I love you too much to lose you.

“Because like you kitten, I don't want anyone to worry about me. You guys deal with enough of your own problems without mine weighing you down. I'll be fine. I heal myself by healing my friends.”

“That's another way of saying you put others before yourself so you neglect yourself and what you need.” Blake absentmindedly held one of her hands and interlocked their fingers. Gosh, why didn't I figure out sooner we were molded for each other? Our fingers fit perfectly together. “What about what you want Yang?” She stared into her red eyes. 

She gave her a small smile and shook her head. “It doesn't matter what I want. As long as my sister and my friends are happy, I'm happy too.” Yang saw Blake look from her eyes to her lips and back to her eyes. Yang knew what she was asking but couldn't do it. She closed her eyes and broke away from her fingers taking a few steps back. 

I hate how selfless you are. Can you just take the hint and kiss me? I want you too. You want to, don't you? Don't tell me your feelings died, please Yang. I need you. “Yang?” She asked curious. “Did I say or do something wrong?”

“No. That's the problem Blake. My feelings for you never died. But I can't bring you into this. I can't bring you into my life. You already know the chaos it is. I'm caring for a middle schooler who sees me more as a mother than a sister. I have a mother who verbally and sometimes physically abuses me. I have a deadbeat father who drinks himself near death. I have friends who have their own shit and come to me for help and guidance which I am more than happy to help because I love them and helping them helps me. I have to be there for them because all we have is each other. Then there's Public Displays of Affection. I know people already say shit about us even though we don't do anything because we aren't anything, but hearing it from Weiss and Ilia... I can't ask you to constantly put yourself second to Ruby, you come before our friends, but they need help too. We all do. It's not fair to you. Of course I want this with you I just-.” Her voice was interrupted with Blake's hands grabbed her jacket an jerked her forward. Her lips collided with hers. Yang relaxed, closed her eyes and dived into it. Her lips were softer than she had imagined and she tasted licorice. Their kiss was deep as their lips met and it was intense. 

Blake couldn't stand listening to her anymore. The moment Yang said she wanted her, she wasn't going to deny her any longer than she already has. She told Yang no once and she didn't want Yang to be denied happiness because of everyone she put before herself. She had to stop her and let her know it was okay for her to be happy. Her lips were soft as they brushed against one another. 

The two slowly broke apart for air. “Are you absolutely sure?” Yang whispered breathlessly. She had to ask. She admitted her feelings before and was shut down. She couldn't handle the possibility  
of something only for Blake to change her mind later.

Blake smiled confidently back at her. “I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I want you to be happy Yang. You're my best friends and I've never been happier than when I'm with you. If you let me, I want to bring you all the happiness you bring me and more.”

“In that case, you won't have to try too hard.” Yang leaned in, cupped her still reddened cheek, rested their foreheads together for that suspense of being inches apart and their lips met, renewing their kisses as they deepened. Soft, and longing, needing each other. 

It was slow when they broke apart again. Yang intertwined their hands together. Her black hair, pale skin and amber eyes, she's never seen Blake look so gorgeous. “Blake, will you be my girlfriend?” 

“Of course. I thought you'd never ask me again.” She hugged her again wrapping both arms around her shoulders. “I was so scared thinking your feelings for me died. I was so stupid to say no to you once-.”

“Sh...” She whispered. Yang's hand rubbing the back of her head just under the middle where her feline ears would be. While Blake's head was in her chest and her left hand wrapped around her lower back. Yang kissed her forehead then moved to her lips for one final kiss. “I have to prepare somethings and you are my best distraction.” Blake stared in confusion watching her intently. “I was intending to just let it be me out here, but after what you told me happened this morning, I really didn't have time or wanted to face Raven again to get a second tent. I'm glad I got a bigger tent than usual. I hope that's okay. If not, I can-.”

“Yang, it's perfect.” She assured her. Yang was always the perfect friend. Now, she's the perfect girlfriend, Blake's perfect girlfriend. “You're always sharing and I know you won't accept me sleeping outside, on the ground staring at the stars like some-.”

“Someone who doesn't have a home to go back to because her parents refuse to accept her for who she is?” Yang interrupted refusing to hear what Blake was going to say.”

“I was going to say some stray animal or cat, but yes. Especially after what Cinder said. I know you don't think of me as anything less than human.” She had a sultry look. “In fact, you think Faunus superior because of the night vision and ultra hearing.”

“Don't forget sharp fangs that can rip jugulars, and claws that extend and retract easily slice-cut-causing am opponent harm-pain.”

“Yang, it's okay. You can use those words around me.” She hugged her from behind. 

Yang's noticed she's been hugging her more and more as of late. It could be just today. Yang turned to face her after pounding a steak. “Just because I can, doesn't mean I should. You've already been through enough. If I can spare you any discomfort, I will.”

“I know you will. That's why I trust you more than anyone.” Blake gently kissed her lips just for a moment. “Ilia's a close second. And Weiss.... We understand each other.” 

“And I love Ilia in a platonic way and I'd do anything for her, and I know she's okay with me. Mostly because of you. She wouldn't trust me or Weiss otherwise. I'm glad she sees not all humans are bad, just the majority of us.”

“Yang, it's not even a majority. It just feels that way. And Ilia actually likes you better because of your racism of humans.”

Yang beamed. “I don't like me much either because of that. I feel like Weiss and I should call ourselves something else. So that way I can say I hate humans without identifying as one, you know?”

Blake chuckled. “You're such a dork.”

Yang smiled a toothy grin. “But I'm your penis.” 

Blake groaned and facepalmed. “I didn't mean a literal actual dork.” She shook her head. “You've just made this awkward.”

“I wouldn't be me if I didn't.”

Blake contemplated it for a moment then gave an approved hum. 

When Yang finished setting up the tent and sleeping bag, she sat on the ground staring into the sky. Blake moved in front of her and sat between her legs. She moved Yang's arms to wrap around her stomach. She hated her stomach being touched, even if accidental. She hugged her arms to hold her closer. Yang placed her head on her shoulder staring into the sky. 

Blake felt safe and warm. Right there in Yang's muscular arms. She started to softly purr. She smiled as Yang's breath hitched for a moment before turning into a relaxing sigh and exhaled all negative emotions from her body as she fully relaxed. The sound relaxed her and the vibrations were felt all throughout her body. Blake relaxed more and leaned into her a she indulged one more of her feline tendencies, cuddling. She debated if she should warn her girlfriend. She decided against it and let her figure it out. 

Between the two of them, everything felt right. No worries, no troubles, especially easy for ignoring an annoying scroll that kept vibrating and flashing. For once, everything was just as it should be. For once, the world was in harmony. For once, everything was right with the world.

**Author's Note:**

> The only things that are different from this one and the other one, is Ghira talks badly about Blake at the table, Blake puts the knife to her wrist, Yang gets slapped by Raven, Yang and Blake skip first and go into the woods to chat, Emerald and Cinder's words are harsher here than the Teen and up, Adam is mention in a whole paragraph in this one, this one goes into Yang's feelings and perspective more. as well as Ilia and Weiss, past feelings are mentioned between Ilia and Blake & Yang and Blake, the scene at the end where it has the dashes is completely made up by me which is why it has more dialog. If you enjoyed it, please let me know by either Kudos or comment. f you have any questions, comments or concerns, let me know in the comment section. I thought about adding a sex scene that is mature so as to not label it explicit. For those of you who have been wondering why I haven't updated Pleasure Cruise, well now you know and I will go back to editing that fan-fic work.


End file.
